Friday, April 25, 2008

Where have all the weirdos gone?

I was reading a friend’s blog about missing Michigan this week

—both her alma mater, UofM, and the Detroit area.

And I had been thinking the same thing, too.

Well, not so much the UofM part. :)

I only live in West Michigan, but it seems like such a different world than East Michigan. This is conservative town. I feel like I am surrounded by normal people. Everyone goes to church on Sunday (whether they actually care to know Jesus or not, which is sad), wears normal clothes and has normal hair, lives in a normal house, mostly votes republican, and doesn’t do anything to rock the boat.

It’s hard to explain. I’m sure there are unusual people around here, but I’m hard pressed to find them. My most unusual-but-in-a-cool-way friends in GR aren’t even from here! (Ficks, holla back!)

I don’t know a single person who loves muscle cars. I think
the only person around here who actually paid to have
their windows tinted (besides my inner-city
neighbors, with the cool cars with sweet rims—but they don’t seem interested in making friends with white girls, so I’m out of luck). I don’t know anyone who has tried shave their initials in their dog’s fur in the summer. Or who would crank up the stereo when AC/DC comes on. Or who makes up crazy, unconventional ploys to rid their yard of moles.

Or who makes up funny nicknames for people. Or who didn’t go to a Christian college (okay, maybe only 80% of my acquaintances went to Christian college) or Christian high school. Or who would buy a Hooters t-shirt at a garage sale and wear it around because she loves owls. Or who has gotten as many traffic tickets as me.

Now that I wrote all that down, I realize that I think I’m mostly missing my family. This is who they are. And they don’t think it’s weird. They’re just being themselves. But if they all lived in GR, well, they wouldn’t really fit in.

Sometimes I wonder if I even do.

But I know that I’m not called to live back on the east-side. So I’m kind of stuck. There are many things and people that I love in West Michigan. But it could really use a little Teague and Fraser spice.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

American Idol Angst

Though I am not surprised at last night’s American Idol results, I AM miffed.

My three favorite performers from Tuesday night’s broadway theme were Syesha, Carli, and David. Who was in the bottom two last night? Syesha and Carli. Argh! And Carli went home! Those girls really let it out on stage for once and no one appreciated them.

Even the judges said that theirs were the best of the night, but America didn’t care. Or shall I say, teeny-bopper America with their American Idol text messaging didn’t care. The teeny-bopper America who will vote for BORING Jason Castro and David Archuleta despite dreadful performances, etc., just because they’re cute. Newsflash girlies: David’s dad will murder any girl who tries to get in the way of his, er, I mean, his son’s, career. And you think you like those dreadlocks on Jason? Do you really know what dreadlocks are? Dead hair. Dead hair that hasn’t seen shampoo since, well, it died, many, many years ago. No running your fingers through that, kiddos.

I already had to boycott last week’s show after they had kicked off Michael Johns the week before. But I simply cannot boycott next week. Next week the mentor is Neil Diamond!! How cool is that?!??? I don’t care if you think he’s old and corny; I love Neil Diamond! Sister Annie will back me up on that one.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Pukah and her Toys

JB and I noticed the Lulu’s toys were all a little worse for wear. They have all lasted pretty long—save for her plush toys, which get destroyed pretty quickly.

Yesterday I went to Pet Smart to replenish her stock, since she had extra allowance money this month (she gets allowance for food, vet, and toys/treats). I was a little disappointed with the selection, since they did not have exact replacements for her favorite things. I got this blue tug toy but could not find another apple like the one my Granny gave her two Christmases ago. Lucy adores that crazy apple even though the squeak is now gone and it is holey and deflated.

When I came home with the bag she immediately knew I had special things for HER and would not take her eyes off of the bag. She was weary of the blue tug toy, as it didn’t come in the normal shape she’s used to. But the massive rawhide bone was the source of MUCH joy. I love watching her with her giant bone because she’ll carry it from room to room, walking sideways to get it through narrow doorways, etc.

Then JB came home. With the apple. It was a total stroke of luck that he found it in a pile of toys at Meijer.

She flipped out. JB said that when he produced the toy she leapt straight up in the air SIX times in a row, which he has never seen before. You’d think he has just opened the door to a magical room full if infinite dog snacks, just for her!

Lucy does two kinds of leaps. One is a four-banger—she will use all four legs to leap straight up (this is her “excitement” leap, for instances when she gets a new toy or is about to go outside) and the other is a two-banger (used for catching things), in which she springs up using only her hind legs. The four-bangers are funny because it looks like she has invisible springs on the bottoms of all her feet—kind of like Pepe LePew springing through the fields. I don’t have a photo of this yet, but I’ll get one!

Here is Lucy leaping last weekend (a two-banger). She jumped and ran so much that day that she had grass stains down the backs of her legs.

She loves to jump!

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Spring is officially here...

...we're sleeping with the windows open.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Marilyn Wannabe

I think I made a big mistake.

April + Feria highlighter + impatience + listening to know-it-all-lady at beauty supply store =

It's even more orange in real life. JB says I did this just so that I'd have an excuse to go get it professionally done. Not so. I want my moneys to pay off debt, not for stupid hair! That's why I bought a $10 box of hair color. I wanted to be a pretty blond again.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Pepper Time

Tonight I made salad for dinner. I heart banana peppers, but decided this time to try this mild yellow-green pepper that I saw at the grocery store. It was good on my salad. Afterward, I diced the remainder of the pepper to use for tomorrow’s lunch.

Then I finally sat down to work on Zondervan. I’ve been having soo many problems getting good chunks of time in on this project.

My nose itched. So I scratched it.

Then it burned. I had pepper juice on my hands! And now my right nostril was on fire! Argh! I was determined to keep working so I tried to ignore it. But the burning was distracting, so I tried dipping toilet paper (hick-girl’s Kleenex) in water and shoving that up my nose. The cool water was okay for a moment and then the burn returned. I KNOW not to put water on a pepper burn, but I did it anyway. No explanation for my actions.

While I’m distracted by my flaming nose, my eye itches. So I itch it.

Flaming red eye! Aaaaggghhh!!! I run to the bathroom to…you guessed it…RINSE OUT MY EYE WITH WATER. Triple aaaagggghhhh!!! Is this what pre-blindness feels like, I wondered?

JB said I could call his mom, a nurse. But I opted to search for a solution online. Since I was blind in one eye, surfing the net was difficult. The first site I found was a “gardener’s” site that said to put aloe vera lotion or aloe vera plant on my inner eyelid. Hmmm…I don’t have lotion, but I’ve got a huge aloe plant. It sounded strange to put aloe plant juice on my eyelid, but I stumbled downstairs to chop a branch from the plant anyway.

That website was a trick!!

No, friends, aloe plant does NOT work on areas such as eyes and nose. Unless by “work” you mean, “works to make you burn even more.”

I returned to the internet, with the right side of my head on fire, to learn that there’s nothing to do but wait it out.

So I’m waiting. I am certain that the devil is trying to foil my Zondervan efforts. I wasted 30 minutes on flaming bugers and a sizzling eye ball! Well, I’m going back to work now, devil. How do you like THAT?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008


I love concerts. And I never go to them because they’re so expensive. It really, really bums me out. Some people love the movies. Others, a sporting event. Me, I’d prefer a good concert.

So this year I decided that I WILL go to a concert. And that that concert would be Keith Urban, my favorite. He is a wicked good guitar player.

He isn’t coming to Grand Rapids this summer, but he is coming to Detroit. My sister Annie agreed to go with me (and JB) so I had this plan to go, no matter the cost, etc.

I was soo excited. I mean, I was finally going to see Keith Urban. I was going to work extra hours at my extra job to make this happen. I watched Keith’s website for when tickets would go on sale.

Then I saw a “save the date” magnet on our fridge, marking our good friends’ wedding this summer. For August. August 2. The date of my date with Keith Urban.

WHY??? I wanted to curse my friends for choosing that date. But I fought the urge. Instead, I looked online for the next closest show. There is one in Chicago. Apparently they don’t update the Keith Urban site like they should because tickets have long-since been on sale for these shows. So the only seats left are extreme nosebleed seats. For $116 a pop.

Excuse me????

$116 to sit so far away I can’t even confirm if the man standing on the stage is actually Keith Urban? So far away that I can’t even see the guitar that he’s playing fiercely?

No thanks.

So now I am sitting in my office, fighting back the tears. I don’t often look forward to things because they usually don’t happen. At least, that’s my experience. JB tells me that I’m a Debby Downer because of this. Well, being a Debby Downer is a lot easier on one’s emotions than to be crushed by this kind of news!

Monday, April 14, 2008

So I met my "baby delivery doctor" today. I met one of her colleagues last time and thought that HE was the best baby doc ever, but then today I was proven wrong--this lady is the shit!

I had two concerns. One was that my hips KILL me every time I walk my dog. I had researched the internet several times and found no helpful information. So I didn't hold out much hope when I asked her about it. But Dr. Bittner sprang right into action, explaining why I felt that way and what I can do to combat it. So easy! Totally worth the $15 copay!

I also was curious about my weight-gain to date. I want to stay within my range but about two weeks ago I suddenly started showing majorly, so I was concerned that I was getting ahead of myself. But when I jumped on the scale I learned that I've LOST a pound (don't worry--not a big deal). I asked Dr. Bittner why I had this gut if I lost weight. She explained that basically it's my bowels being pushed up there to make room for baby, and that they're fatter right now, so that's why the protuberance. Our CEO had to touch my belly this morning and looking back, she was really just feeling my bowel bulge, and not so much a baby. LOL. Okay, so baby was there, too, but he/she wasn't alone.

So, at some of your requests, here is my gut, to date. Which may not be that exciting to you now that you've learned it's probably just bowels. :)

Sunday, April 13, 2008

...and know when to shut up

I am an extrovert. Yeah, I know, big surprise. I like being the center of attention in almost any gathering. I gain great enjoyment in holding court by telling stories and recounting funny things I've seen. And everyone thoroughly enjoys it - right?!? Yeah, I didn't think so.

I used to be clueless when it came to noticing when people were losing interest and if they weren't finding the same level of enjoyment from my anecdotes. I'd prattle on and everyone would humor me with bland smiles and awkward silence. It makes me shudder recalling the moments. While I have improved immensely, I still relapse into my old ways. Generally I don't feel that I'm blabbering on, but when I see April's face and it's that "look", then I know I've gone too far. Is it a crime to want to convey the very sense of that which I found amusing? No, but it's lost in translation.

It's amusing knowing that my brother, Austin, is the same way. I'm a couple steps ahead of him though - I'm getting better at knowing when to shut up. I definitely don't want to be "that guy" who whenever he starts talking everyone smirks and rolls their eyes.

Readers, now that we're in a sharing mood what are your flaws?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Dog wrangling

This week JB and I are watching Lexi (Lucy's BFF) and Maggie. Dog wrangling is never boring. Tonight I tried to get a good shot of Lucy and Lexi play-fighting, but Maggie made them knock it off before I could get a better shot. A better shot of Lucy leaping off of our bed and lunging into Lexi. You can't tell here but Lucy is suspended in air. I was cracking up.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

I don't do change like this.

So when JB pitched this new blog to me, I thought he wanted me to post on this IN ADDITION to my current blog on Xanga. Honestly, I thought that this would be where I could park my boring life updates, like about the baby, etc., and leave more interesting pieces for my Xanga. I personally do not like reading about other people's kids unless I personally know them or their kids. And I'd like my blog to be generally enjoyed by both strangers and friends.

Now, friends who read my Xanga, I know what you're thinking: "What strangers read your blog?!??" Okay, so none, really, that I know of. I mean, I get hits on my blog from all over the country but to date only one stranger has ever made a comment on my blog. So I really don't know if these strangers even enjoy my Xanga or if they are just really, really bored at work.

But that doesn't take away from my dream. My dream is that some magazine editor or other influential writing person will stumble upon my Xanga some day and read the handful of entertaining stories that I have on there and think, "This is the new author I've been looking for!!" Or, at least, that this person would affirm me in my work and comment positively on my blog.

JB says it doesn't happen that way. Hmmm....maybe that's why I call it a dream, and not a goal, you turd!

So, anyway, I'm still struggling with the changeover. Not only do I love my Xanga, but I just don't want to lose my identity in having a baby, etc. This is a very difficult struggle for me and one of the reasons I waited until now to have children. And I feel that this blog is akin to moving to the suburbs or buying a minivan. "It's what you do when you start a family." And for those of you that know me, I will NEVER move to the suburbs nor own a minivan (no offense to anyone who does this--if you don't buy the minivans that just means there's more on the lot for JB to taunt me with). I don't do things because everyone else does. I am not a lemming.

So I still need time to determine if abandoning my old blog means I'm running over the cliff...

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

It's all so... different

I think it's going to take a little while for us to get used to this new blogspot site. I always a bit frustrating learning something new. I think that's why I avoided moving to the blogger for so long. Xanga has been good to us. I really like the idea of having a site that we both could post to as a couple and as individuals. In the future you can look for family news, random rants, stories, and silly stuff. See below if you'd like to catch up on our past blogging lives.

April's blog
JB's blog

It's not much, but it's a start

April's thoughts and writing style + JB's thoughts and writing style = GENIUS!!

Here's to a new era in blogging...