Anatomy of a Bad Day

I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. But today was just one of those days where things just kept going wrong.

1.) I find dog pee on my freshly laundered jeans that I laid on the bed.

2.) Discover dog has peed all over the bed again. (Yes, she should probably be put down for this, but I'm a dog lover, so she stays.) I always keep our bedroom door shut because of Lucy's incredible naughtiness. She likes to mark the bed when we change blankets each season. We've probably gone a year without incident. Today was one of those days where I forgot to shut the door.

3.) Dog pee has infiltrated my down comforter throw. The quilt. The top sheet, fitted sheet, and even the mattress pad.

4.) Cannot murder dog because child is still sleeping. Dog slinks around, aware of her evil actions.

5.) Spend day cleaning LOTS of bedding. Spend other part of day scheming dog's demise. 

6.) Child sleeps late so I miss going to MOPS. 

7.) Reason that child sleeps later is because child declines daily nap. Child turns into monster at around 4:30 p.m. every day.

8.) Today was not different. Child declines nap, and this time CRIES after being in her crib for less than an hour.

9.) Drive Jeckyl and Hyde child to pick up dogs for dog sitting stint. Have to carry Granny dog out of house. Then Granny dog hides under porch. Have to drag poor Granny dog out from under porch so that I can carry her to the car. Feel terrible dragging a dog by her scruff, but she offers no assistance.

10.) Drive a car full of 3 panting dogs, one little girl, and a load of dog food, a pen, leashes, etc.

11.) Rear end man in rush hour traffic, because I am a dippy do.

12.) Granny dog slides off of backseat in crash, landing on the floor. Her hips are too weak to lift her back onto the seat, so she rides home backwards, her butt on the floor and her front paws on the seat.

13.) Cars, K-9's, and people unharmed, mostly. Minor body damage. Major shame. Man in the Beamer was kind. But I am a bad girl nonetheless.

14.) Let dogs out at home to do business. Call them in. Yell at Lexi for her shit breath, as the side entry reaks of it.

15.) Realize that my child has lots of fresh dog poo on both shoes.

16.) Feel bad for blaming Lexi. 

17.) Accident causes me to get home late and to be frazzled, so I cannot make dinner. Resort to McDonald's. Boo. 

18.) Spray Newmans' own Ranch Dressing on myself and bag while trying to open it.

19.) Realize that it is 11:00 p.m. and I left laundry out on the line.

Agh!

Hopefully this post helped you feel good about yourself today. Compared to me, I'm sure you're trouble free. :)

The Two Little Engines That Couldn't

Last week ended with the coughing splutter of car issues.

April has Fridays off each week and so we dropped my car off at the local Ford dealer to have it's oil changed and have it checked out. I thought I may have some alignment issues - in fact I have over $1000 in issues, alignment included. All basic maintenance stuff, new tires, boots, alignment, oil change, power steering flush, stabilizer bar. Yeah, fun. We had them fix two on the list and left the less dire fixes for later.

On our way to pick up my "clunker" on Saturday we kept smelling exhaust in April's car. With the weather being as cold as it has been, low teens to below zero, cars tend to act funny. I thought maybe snow got stuck in the exhaust or the other cars were expelling extra noxious fumes. At the dealer, while I was paying for my car, April noticed steam rising from the hood and decided to have the mechanics check it out.

Chalk one up for April! Her gas line was leaking gasoline all over the engine. Apparently, there was friction between the line and the engine cover that slowly ate away at the line until it broke through that Saturday. Thankfully it was only a $150 fix, but it's $150 we don't have to put towards my new tires.

Boo.

This week can't be any worse, but I'm hoping it's better. At least the sun was shining today, and my beard is looking especially dashing.

On an unrelated note, I've decided that I'm going to shave a unique look for St Patties Day. I'll post the evidence afterwards.

"Where's April?" you might ask. She's busy trying to balance the baby with life in general that she isn't able to slow down and blog out her life. So you're all stuck with me. I know. You'll have to deal.

Tomorrow is Obama's historic inauguration. I'm hoping he can live up to his hype. While you're all watching history, I'll be worrying about my brother. He's still my little brother and it's a big brother job to look out for him! If you think about it send some prayers his way tomorrow.

Talladega Nights fans will get it...

Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin' there in your ghost manger, just lookin' at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin' 'bout shapes and colors... little Eight Pound, Six Ounce, Newborn Baby Jesus, don’t even know a word yet, just a little infant, so cuddly, but still omnipotent...

I would like to thank you for the three kings of outdoor apparel: Sirs Northface, LL. Bean, and Lands' End. Because of their gifts I was able to brave the icy winds and general blizzardry on my trek to 28th street today. Yes, church may have been cancelled (boo hoo!), and carol sing may have been canceled (boo hoo again!), and I-94 was closed because of a 40+ car pileup that included 12 semis, but by golly, we made it to Michael's Arts and Crafts and my beloved Schuler's. But not without a hat, down coat, gloves, polar fleece, boots, and long johns.

Oh, and a brave little red Ford Focus.