The Jerk

We do not have a fenced-in yard, so whenever Lucy has to go out we take her on a leash. Lately, JB and I have been taking her out with the leash, but after she does her business, we let her run around in the yard, the leash trailing behind her. She is always obedient and does not try to leave the yard. If she wanders too far, we will call her and she’ll come racing back to us.

On Wednesday Lucy was cruising the yard when I announced that it was time to go in. She was trotting down the driveway toward the door when she heard a man’s voice coming from the front yard. She ignored my commands to stop and ran to investigate. As I was running after her, I heard a man in our neighbor’s driveway say cheerfully, “Look! It’s a little dog!” It was then that Lucy decided to race after him, barking violently. As I reached the front of the house I heard that same man shriek like a woman and try to force himself into the car he had been climbing into, but his friend hadn’t scooted over yet and he was exposed for the terrible dog’s attack.

As I hollered, “She’s a pansy! She won’t touch you! I’m so sorry! I’m sorry!” his friends were hysterically laughing at his girlie response to the vicious dog that had not come anywhere close enough to attack him.

“Your eyes were as big as saucers!” my neighbor said between her heavy laughter. Another asked, “Why did you scream like that?”

“I was just being cautious!” he defended himself.

It was quite funny to see a grown man freak out like that, but I still felt bad—it was rude of me not to have my dog under control. When I told JB the story, he laughed too but he didn’t understand the man’s fear.

“You know what you do when a little dog like that comes at you?” he said. “You drop kick it!”

The next morning I opened the door to take Lucy out and she instantly tried to lunge at a little girl across the street who was walking to school. I was holding Lucy’s leash so she couldn’t get away, but the poor little girl still shrieked and grabbed onto her big brother for protection. The girl was so cute with her hair in braids and her little backpack, and I felt bad for having a rude pet.

Lucy is such a jerk!