Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Anatomy of a Bad Day

I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. But today was just one of those days where things just kept going wrong.

1.) I find dog pee on my freshly laundered jeans that I laid on the bed.

2.) Discover dog has peed all over the bed again. (Yes, she should probably be put down for this, but I'm a dog lover, so she stays.) I always keep our bedroom door shut because of Lucy's incredible naughtiness. She likes to mark the bed when we change blankets each season. We've probably gone a year without incident. Today was one of those days where I forgot to shut the door.

3.) Dog pee has infiltrated my down comforter throw. The quilt. The top sheet, fitted sheet, and even the mattress pad.

4.) Cannot murder dog because child is still sleeping. Dog slinks around, aware of her evil actions.

5.) Spend day cleaning LOTS of bedding. Spend other part of day scheming dog's demise. 

6.) Child sleeps late so I miss going to MOPS. 

7.) Reason that child sleeps later is because child declines daily nap. Child turns into monster at around 4:30 p.m. every day.

8.) Today was not different. Child declines nap, and this time CRIES after being in her crib for less than an hour.

9.) Drive Jeckyl and Hyde child to pick up dogs for dog sitting stint. Have to carry Granny dog out of house. Then Granny dog hides under porch. Have to drag poor Granny dog out from under porch so that I can carry her to the car. Feel terrible dragging a dog by her scruff, but she offers no assistance.

10.) Drive a car full of 3 panting dogs, one little girl, and a load of dog food, a pen, leashes, etc.

11.) Rear end man in rush hour traffic, because I am a dippy do.

12.) Granny dog slides off of backseat in crash, landing on the floor. Her hips are too weak to lift her back onto the seat, so she rides home backwards, her butt on the floor and her front paws on the seat.

13.) Cars, K-9's, and people unharmed, mostly. Minor body damage. Major shame. Man in the Beamer was kind. But I am a bad girl nonetheless.

14.) Let dogs out at home to do business. Call them in. Yell at Lexi for her shit breath, as the side entry reaks of it.

15.) Realize that my child has lots of fresh dog poo on both shoes.

16.) Feel bad for blaming Lexi. 

17.) Accident causes me to get home late and to be frazzled, so I cannot make dinner. Resort to McDonald's. Boo. 

18.) Spray Newmans' own Ranch Dressing on myself and bag while trying to open it.

19.) Realize that it is 11:00 p.m. and I left laundry out on the line.


Hopefully this post helped you feel good about yourself today. Compared to me, I'm sure you're trouble free. :)


Tommy said...

Yikes, that is pretty much the worst day ever; especially with the car accident.

Hopefully it will come full circle some day and you will have Olivia there to help you wrangle animals and take care of dinner, etc. instead of being another wandering thing for you to herd. Now, you may be eating Cap'n Crunch for dinner if 8-year-old Olivia is preparing it but at least you won't have to think about it.

Rhonda said...

I'm sorry, April. It sounds like a terrible day but thanks for sharing it with us.

Okay, I will admit that I have tears in my eyes because I'm laughing so hard picturing Marian reading about what you think of her dog's breath. HA!!! I can't help it.

. . . and about your dog peeing all over your bed . . . GREAT Aunt Rhonda can put the dog down for you with no problem.

Michigan Girl said...

So sorry April, what a bad, bad day.

Hope by the time I post this, it's already better. :)


April said...

You guys crack me up!