Monday, September 7, 2009

I rocked my baby tonight

I rocked my baby tonight.


I really wanted to read more of Dick Francis’ The Edge.

and to shop for vintage books online.

I wanted to research Alfred Meakin’s Denmark china pattern, circa 1891

or sew Olivia’s windmill quilt and to fancy different ways to quilt the final product.


But I rocked my baby instead.


I should have unpacked from our Labor Day trip to the cabin,

or emailed a woman about starting a Book Club.

Perhaps paid some bills

and put a clean handtowel up in the bathroom.


But I rocked my baby instead.


I rocked her because every time I rock her in her light blue room,

I look at her half-open doorway with faint light spilling in from the hall

and see a 20-year-old girl standing there,

looking at me, saying,

“Mom, have you seen my book?” or “Mom, can you drive me back to college tomorrow?”


And I realize that one day


I will never rock my baby again.

7 comments:

KT said...

Sad and beautiful all at once.

Michigan Girl said...

So true April. It goes by so fast, cherish the time she's this little and wants you to rock her.

H

saraho said...

so sweet! you captured the moment well in this entry :) have you had your pic take with little O in the rocker. That one would be a keeper :)

Anonymous said...

I thought you should know this made me cry.

It is so hard sometimes watching them grow up. On one hand you are proud of them/excited for them, on the other you just want to keep them little and safe in your arms forever.

-JEss

Melissa said...

Nice April, nice. You should save this little gem for an Olivia scrapbook, etc.

Unknown said...

Aww, do you have the book I Love You Forever? This makes me think of that book. So precious. :'-)

Anonymous said...

I was wondering if you would please find a little tissue icon to place in the tops of blogs like this. It was beautifully poetic as well as very true. I love your writing, April!