No God

I don’t know how people who don’t believe in God can do it.

If there’s one thing that I learned after having Olivia is that I could not survive without God.

There have been so many moments with her when I have cried out to God in desperation (babies can be quite frustrating!) and he came to my aid. And even when I was waiting for an answer to my prayer, I felt great peace knowing that I was not the one in charge of this little baby—that God was. It is a wonderful thing to know, especially in scary situations. I mean, if Olivia were to choke or stop breathing, I think I would faint from fear, instead of taking action, if I didn’t feel I had someone else to help me in that situation. I think you’d have to have great confidence in yourself in order to keep your cool. And I am not that confident in my CPR skills.

For instance, when she was first born, nursing was not working out. I felt terrible because, essentially, I was starving my baby. The nurses all tried helping me, and even the lactation specialists came in twice to give assistance/advice. But it still was not working. If I hadn’t had God to lean on at that time, I would have had an emotional breakdown. Instead, I asked God to help. I had peace knowing that I wasn’t in charge of making it work and that God did not want Olivia to starve so he wouldn’t let her. After my emotional plea to him, Olivia’s pediatrician came to visit (he was JB’s childhood pediatrician, too! How neat is THAT?) and told me that it could take 1-2 weeks to get nursing down. None of the nurses bothered to tell me that! I instantly felt relieved. I believe that God sent Dr. Hoffman in to talk to me at that exact time. And you know what, it DID start to work! And I have a fat baby to prove it!

Last night I realized that I was starting to get JB’s head cold—he was sick all weekend and was able to kick it by sleeping it off. I do not have that option since I have Olivia, so I was freaked about it. It’s hard enough to take care of Olivia with JB returning to work today, let alone deal with a terrible cold to boot. I really, really wanted sleep, so last night I said, “Please, Lord, let Olivia sleep for 4 hour stints tonight, instead of her typical three.” (Typically she gets up after three hours, like clockwork.) That was at midnight. At 6 a.m. she was still sound asleep! I totally got some rest!

After I saw that “6:00” on my clock this morning, I knew that it was God who hooked me up with sleep, and I just couldn’t keep the story to myself.

There are several more instances of what I believe to be God’s hand in my life. And I know where will be many more, and I am so thankful.